Not Your Typical Breakup Story

If bad things happen to good people, strange things happen to the best.

I remember the spring day vividly… I had a great breakfast of eggs and bacon laced with some kind of glutenous treat, bread or quite possibly cereal.

Disclaimer: My college days at UT were a time when I blissfully ate whatever the heck I wanted and never really experienced anything other than some slight gastrointestinal issues….

My usual day of school and eating whatever was cheap or free ended with going over to the home of a guy who I had recently started dating. We had been getting to know each other for the past couple of weeks and I was a little uneasy about us but I hadn’t quite listened to my gut (yet).

My stomach had felt kind of bloated throughout the day and I couldn’t quite understand why.. I was confused about this until we were talking and watching a movie on the couch. It was a cute scene, he and I. My head was in his lap and we were talking about our days and what we thought of the movie on the television. Cute until my stomach grumbled a little and I felt a dangerous amount of gas welling up inside of my intestines. Not sure of what to do, I moved my leg nervously to distract myself from what I actually wanted to do. The guy I was dating seemed to get nervous himself from my now awkward behavior and started asking me what was wrong.

Over the course of about 30 minutes he continued to ask me if “everything was okay”, and I kept responding that I was okay. He didn’t believe me though and through his constant querying I actually began to search within my heart to really see if I wanted to continue dating this guy. After being asked about ten times if I was okay, I decided to tell him that things weren’t actually okay and that I needed some time to think about “us”.

After leaving his place, I couldn’t believe what just happened; my gastrointestinal issues resulted in the crumbling of a two-week relationship. But after our time together came to an end, I couldn’t help but feel relieved and free.

This is a silly story about an instance where I actually broke up with someone because I had bad gas. My blog isn’t just a place for Monday motivation.. #sorrynotsorry