On Taking Back Your RSVP
Tis the season for full hearts and … full calendars? Wait — do these two things really belong together?
American culture tries to make us believe that more is synonymous with better. More expensive gifts, more savory food, more delicious desserts, more cheery libations, more over-the-top decorations… and more seasonal events on the calendar, of course.
Even if we have come to see this idea as the fallacy that it truly is, we can still get so wrapped up (pun intended!) in the seasonal cheer — becoming hypnotized by the holiday songs blaring throughout our favorite stores — that we forget our true selves in order to merge with a version of ourselves that we deem socially acceptable for the season.
Mic drop.
You’re feeling this, aren’t you? Me too.
So how can you tell if you’ve been neglecting your true needs this holiday season?
In this post, we’re going to be talking about your time, and more specifically, your calendar.
So neglecting your true needs by way of your calendar can look like a multitude of things, including:
RSVPing ‘Yes’ to that party “because everyone else is going”
Over-scheduling yourself “because it’s the holiday season”
Answering that FaceTime call with your sister-in-law “because you feel like you should”
Failing to check in with yourself before RSVPing to that event
And now you might be thinking, “Okay, you’re speaking my language. I’ve done all of these things. In fact, I’ve accidentally already been booked up since receiving 23,847,387 invitations back in November.”
I got you. And this is where I tell you that it’s okay to change your mind.
Here are some steps to follow if you’re thinking about changing your plans.
Get Calm
It’s common to experience some anxiety when thinking about changing your RSVP. Remind yourself that changing your mind is okay. Setting boundaries is a normal thing, and it’s meant to help you maintain your wellness and keep the peace.
Here’s a free breath work recording to get you calm in 5 minutes.
Practice Self-Compassion
You are not a failure for getting swept up into the holiday spirit and overbooking yourself. You are not doomed for falling into the people pleasing trap during this season. You might spend a few minutes journaling about these affirmations.
Be Specific
When you’re changing your RSVP, it could be helpful to have an intentionally crafted response to express your reasoning. Channel your empathy. If you invited someone to a party and they changed their response, what would be helpful for you to hear? The goal is to show that you care while still looking out for your needs.
Plan Intentionally for the Future
What would it look like for you to not have to change your mind about plans in the future? What would it look like for you to be more focused on your needs in the moment? Take some time to journal about what you want your boundaries to look like in the future.
P.S. Our wellness community, the True Core Collective, is talking about boundaries throughout the month of December. There are breath work recordings, journaling prompts, meditations, and homework all on making boundaries that feel authentic to you.