Mountain Thoughts Part 2
Since April is my wedding month I thought I would start it off by giving some unsolicited relationship advice. Last week was somewhat of a precursor to this week. If you have not read last week's post (yet), I basically said "don't get with someone who won't sit with you on the top of a cold mountain while you cry about being bad at something". If that explanation wasn't enough, read it for yourself here!
Anyway, I had a great weekend "glamping" with some Colorado friends in a Yurt (it was amazing) and we got to talking about great relationship advice. I remarked that one of the best pieces of advice I have received has been to seek to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. John Gottman (a VIP on the list of important people who have affected a lot of marriages) emphasizes this in his work. He regards it as a way one avoids contempt of the other person. You can read more about this perspective in a blog post from his website--> here.
I think when I have struggled the most with not being able to give someone the benefit of the doubt, it has been my own pain and brokenness rearing it's ugly face...not theirs. If I am struggling to think the best of someone, that is most often a reflection of my own insecurity. Certainly there are times where someone loses our trust, but we do not wake up most mornings suddenly believing the worst about our partners. Are you able to give your significant other the benefit of the doubt? Or is this something you struggle with? I would love to hear your feedback about this subject!