Reflections from April
It had been a few weeks since I had stepped across the threshold into Denver’s Best Gym and the hour long class had barely started when the shame storm began to stew and brew… I had felt the change in barometric pressure as I walked to class, attempting to avoid the dark clouds looming above that seemed intent on reminding me of how long it had been since I had worked out.
The storm clouds did not seem to want to dissipate and I couldn’t help but feel frustrated at myself for not being consistent in the month of April.
Not only did I have my mental storm to fight, my body was giving me feedback that directly correlated to the shame I was putting upon myself. My flexibility was significantly impaired and it showed.
I was also missing something else… The amazing power of exercise and its ability to alleviate stress and create mental clarity was diminished from my mind.
Slowly, as the kinks were pulled and pushed, the dark clouds began to dissipate and I began to feel something for myself, something that we all need to feel more often.
I reminded myself of all that I had accomplished and been through in the month of April (actually, I wrote it all down)… Papers written, quizzes and tests completed, friendships fostered, and books read, Easter weekend, hikes and brunch, baseball and community.
Yes. I get it. Exercise is important, AND reminding ourselves of what we have accomplished is a powerful exercise against the shame that can ensue from not feeling worthy.
Obviously goals and motivation are very important to me... But I am wondering if what you (and I) need this month is kindness and a reminder to slow down. So often in our American culture we are constantly pushing ourselves to achieve more.
What if we reflected on our “already did” list versus our “to do” list.
I’ll be honest; my schedule is not going to slow down until June… But I will be actively working to remind myself of how far I have come. I hope you can have the grace for yourself to put it on your to do list to slow down and write down your “already did” list.