COVID + Social Anxiety, Part II
Last month we talked about COVID’s impact on social anxiety — an uncomfy combination, for sure. You can check out that post here, and here is a quick recap.
Basically, some sort of social anxiety regarding the transition to a nearly post-COVID social lifestyle is altogether normal, for you and everyone else.
We all have had and will continue to have varying degrees of anxiety as it relates to socialization in a nearly post-pandemic world.
Since we have essentially been in social hibernation, getting back into a social routine can be anxiety-provoking.
Now we’re going to talk about what to do with that social anxiety we’re all experiencing.
First, it’s vital that we acknowledge it for what it is.
If you’re walking into a dinner party expecting to feel exactly how you did pre-COVID, unfortunately, that’s unreasonable. Your nervous system is going to need some time to adjust to its new normal as it relates to social activities. In the meantime, it’s important to acknowledge your uncomfortable feelings, and perhaps even expect them in social environments— at least at first.
While acknowledging social anxiety is helpful, it’s even more advantageous to offer yourself compassion when it happens. What comes up for you when you think about the term “self-compassion”? Does it feel fluffy and ineffective?
Likely due in large part to our culture, a lot of us have this belief that being too easy on ourselves is weak. We think that in order to change something, we need sheer self determination coupled with hefty doses of both anger and shame. This isn’t so. The research actually shows that approaching our limitations with self-compassion is more motivating and altogether more effective[¹].
Just think about the past year and all of the ways you have shifted in order to acclimate and cope. You may have transitioned to working from home, only interacting face-to-face with your household during certain periods of time. And let’s talk about your social calendar — you probably didn’t venture out as much as you did pre-COVID, and you probably went out for different reasons (say, for example, going out to get extra toilet paper).
There you have it. Do you see all of the ways your social capacity has been impacted… and lessened from the pandemic? This is why you can have compassion on yourself for experiencing feelings of social anxiety.
Next tip: start small.
That dinner party I mentioned earlier? ...Maybe make it a small trio of close friends going out for appetizers. You get it — starting small allows us to readjust at a more manageable, safer rate which ultimately teaches us that socializing is good and not so scary. In turn, our nervous system will be commended for the small but successful steps it is taking, and larger and more frequent social gatherings will be more realistic… and fun!
Deal with your social anxiety. After you acknowledge it and practice having compassion on yourself, pause and give yourself a treat by regulating your nervous system with some breath work and mindfulness.
And perhaps the most important part? Rinse and repeat.
Follow this cycle over and over until it sticks. Change takes time. And please don’t forget to reach out for help if it all becomes too much. That’s what we are here for. Okay, in summary, here are our 4 steps to enduring — and perhaps lessening — your post-COVID social anxiety.
Acknowledge your social anxiety.
Practice self-compassion.
Start small.
Regulate your nervous system throughout the process.
Are you feeling more ready to tackle that social anxiety? We hope so! Let us know what you think in the comments below!
